direct from . . .
Top Ten Ways Santa Claus Keeps Busy During The Summer
(submitted by Laffman
It takes all year to shovel the snow off the runway.
Dressing up as an alien and landing his sleigh in rural areas to confound the rednecks
He has a side gig as a rodie for the Smashing Pumpkins.
Ever since free agency, he spends the entire off-season re-negociating elf & reindeer contracts.
Taking care of all the lawsuits filed from kids who didn't get what they wanted for Christmas.
(What the DILLY-O?!)
Trying to fit into that little Tooth Fairy costume everynight
He employs those elves as lawn gnomes to brighten up people's summer lawns.
Cryogenically frozen, how else would he last this long?
Preparing for his big eSanta IPO.
Checking out the naughty girls on the beach -- twice -- just to be sure they're naughty.
(The Sponz, Fitz)
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Last modified: May 15, 2000