direct from . . .
Top Ten Best Uses For Lawn Gnomes
(submitted by TheGnomePrincessWho'sBumIsInMexico)
Used as table legs, they keep the dog from begging for scraps at dinner.
Bludgeoning device to atack the person who thought up silent "G's"
Freak out your neighbor by sneaking out each night and moving them slowly, slowly, across the lawn to his front door.
Hollow one out so you can fit your head inside. Wear it while driving.
Markers for doggie doo that is too disgusting to pick up and you don't want to hit with the lawn mower
Handy for those weekly re-enactments of the presidental debates
Put a bed in your front yard surrounded by 7 gnomes and wait for Prince Charming to show up.
There's gno good use for a gnome.
To stop your car from hitting your mail box
The ideal guests at a slumber party for your kid who has no friends. (probably because you have a Lawn Gnome)
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Last modified: Jan 17, 2000