direct from . . .
George W. Bush's Top Ten Achievements for His First 100 Days in Office
(submitted by Doug Rosengard)
Finally identified and fired that S.O.B. speechwriter who kept putting "subliminible" and "obsfucate" in his speeches
Appointed Katherine Harris to be Ambassador to Chad
Mastered that "removable thumb illusion" trick
Learned to fit his name onto those tiny little lines he always has to sign on all the papers he keeps getting
Found Ronald Reagan's hidden jellybean stash
Managed to convince the S.S. guys to let him carry his own shotgun
One of his suggestions finally made it on the top 10 list.
Correctly guessed who was voted off the Island 7 times
Passed little known legislation for "take-your-FATHER-to-work" day
"Let's see....make the Japanese mad. Check. Make the Chinese mad. Check. Make the Americans mad. Check."
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Last modified: May 10, 2001