direct from . . .
Top Ten Things Not To Say to a Police Officer
Yes, I know my driving is not 100%, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
You just try to give me a ticket! Hell, I don't even have a license. Now who's dumb?
Can you come back in 5 minutes? I'm in the middle of a telephone conversation.
Oops...I thought you were a prostitute.
Do I have any fruits or vegetables? I don't know. Is cocaine a fruit or vegetable?
Of course I was speeding, you idiot. My license was revoked, I'm on parole, and I've got 10 pounds of heroin in the wheel well!
*wave your hand in front of his face mysteriously* "These are not the drugs you are looking for."
A hundred dollar fine? Well, I think George Washington can change your mind...
Did you pull me over because of the drugs under the seat, the body in the trunk, or the burned out tail-light?
Whoops, that's the fake one... here ya go, this is the one.
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Last modified: Aug 6, 2001