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Christian's and Scott's Interactive Top Ten List

Top Ten Things to Do with a Dead Body

(submitted by sexychick)

10. Rent it out to mortuaries for casket displays. (No dear I didn't.)
9. "I'm sorry for speeding officer, but I really need to get this guy to a hospital." (Foghorn leghorn)
8. Forget a bear rug. You can have a dead-guy rug. (DaCarolinaSavage)
7. Examine all the evidence to find out who he was and where he lived. Then make sure you cross his name out of the phone book so you don't ring him by accident forgetting that he's dead. (sageandscholar)
6. Cheap bean bag chair replacement (a_man_of...)
5. Introduce it too your parents as your new boyfriend. From then on no matter who you bring home, your parents will consider him ideal as long as he's breathing. (sageandscholar)
4. Super glue the eyelids open, and then bet your friends that they can't outstare your new friend. (No dear I didn't.)
3. At last, you've found someone who will stay there and hold the TV antenna *just right* so FOX comes in clearly. (BullFrog)
2. Save it for the next time you need to fake your own death to avoid your in-laws. (Last Minute Thinker)
1. Dress it in a suit, open your own psychiatric clinic, and tell the patients that Dr. Mort doesn't talk much, he just listens. (No dear I didn't.)

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sra & crs Last modified: Oct 7, 2002