direct from . . .
Top Ten Reasons You've Been Banned from the Circus
(submitted by Bob Clemmons)
You've been getting out of the clown car with 20 hookers.
As the human cannonball, you aimed yourself at the women's dressing room one too many times.
Your fortune-telling booth continually informed children that they would be eaten by the clowns.
(The Incredible Edible Craig)
You are supposed to put YOUR head in the LION's mouth.
You fed Prozac-laced steaks to the "ferocious, man-eating lions." Now they just keep trying to hug the lion tamer.
You form a union: Freak Show local 404.
You look and smell like a monkey but you find it hard to do the tricks.
You left your chewing gum on the tight rope.
(No dear I didn't)
Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time, and who knew an elephant, who was trained mind you, would be so hard to control once you got it out on the highway?
(I didn't do it, you have no proof)
Your "rescue" efforts were not appreciated by the Lion Tamers, Tight Rope Walkers, Trapeze Aerialists, Plate Spinners, Motorcycle Acrobats, Knife Thrower's Assistants, and Human Cannonball.
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Last modified: Nov 25, 2002