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Christian's and Scott's Interactive Top Ten List

Top Ten Little-Known Duties of the Secretary of State

(submitted by Deimodius)

10. Keeping Dick Cheney's pacemaker supplied with fresh batteries (Jack Michaels)
9. Ceremonially opening all new restrooms in government buildings by flushing them one by one while someone plays the national anthem on a harmonica (dukk)
8. Converting 5-page Morning Briefings from the CIA into believable shadow puppet plays (Pertinax)
7. Refereeing the thumbwrestling matches between the Attorney General and the Secretary of the Treasury (General-General)
6. Continually ask the President (in a squeeky voice), "So, whadda ya wanna do tonight, Brain?" (Deimodius)
5. Ensuring the President and Vice President don't show up to an official function wearing the same tie (Warlok)
4. Must be Bobo the Clown for all President's children's birthdays (rorschak)
3. Negotiating bulk purchase of sunglasses for the secret service (squeezette)
2. Presidential Proxy for pie eating contests, spelling bees and drug tests (jk60611)
1. Writing down everything the president says during top-secret slumber parties (LP)

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sra & crs Last modified: Jun 23, 2003