direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs School Budgets Are Being Cut
(submitted by KSNIXA)
The lunchlady was fired and replaced by a modified frozen yogurt machine that dispenses "nutrition slurry."
School busing is now combined with prisoner transfers.
Chalkboards are being replaced by giant Etch-A-Sketches to reduce costs on chalk.
Instead of a hoity-toity band, your music program is performing "Take me out to the Ballgame" at your prom.
Each class has only one text book: every student gets a page and after reading it pases it to the student on their left until they have the page they started with.
The crossing guard has been replaced by a sign that just says "Run like hell!!!!"
(Oops I did it again.)
The football team is sharing uniforms with the gymnastics team.
Elementary School pupils now literally have to "buy a vowel" whenever it is necessary in spelling classes.
Counselors are encouraging students to get their GED instead.
They can't afford those ritzy portables anymore and are now using tents.
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Last modified: Jul 7, 2003