direct from . . .
Top Ten Reasons to Become a Pirate
(submitted by Furious B)
Cosmo said women are looking for hairy, gold-wearing men who know how to navigate the waters of love.
To create an excuse for your obsession with map-making
You just found out your HMO covers rickets.
(The Lizard Queen, matey)
Unlike Carnival Crusie Lines, pirate ships don't have to put up with Kathy Lee Gifford.
You just sound stupid when you tell people that you poked your eye out with a frozen stick of butter.
The nicotene patch can now be placed over your eye.
Does Disneyland have a cool ride about fast food employees? Nope.
(Mitch the monkey)
Being a CEO always impresses the family.
You’'ve always loved bossing around unwashed men. It’'s either pirate or dominatrix at that sleazy place on Route 5.
You don't have to sing the friggin Good Morning Mr. Sun song like you do at the day-care center
(Moe Pontiac (Hi, mom!))
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Last modified: Jul 14, 2003