direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs Football's Not Your Game
(submitted by (anna banana))
You try to sound cool by yelling phrases such as "Line drive," and "Hole in One!"
You can't keep up with the other guys because your cowboy boots keep giving you blisters.
You're horrified that Prada doesn't make cleats
The closest you've ever come to contact sports is rhythmic gymnastics.
Even the chess team picks on you because of your weak constitution and frail physique.
It's the top of the 3rd inning you can't even see the puck and you're pretty sure that the bowler just fumbled that wiget.
"I say, fellows! Vigorously propel that spheroid in the direction of the other chap's goal!"
Although you adore the tight fitting pants, you think all the team color ensembles are simply atrocious!
You get winded just walking to kitchen for a beer and pork rinds.
For yearbook, voted "Most likely to beat Kasparov".
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Last modified: Dec 11, 2003