direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs Home Renovations Aren't for You
(submitted by PunchItChewie)
The local Home Depot has opened a First Aid wing in your name.
The last time you used tools was opening a keg.
Bob Vila mentions you specifically in a disclaimer before each show.
(No dear I didn't)
The only power tool you own has settings of "whip," "chop," and "puree."
You've yet to find a jammed door that can't be opened by the careful application of half a stick of dynamite.
"The pile of Old Milwaukee cans are doing just fine holding the deck up, thank you very much!"
You have to check the listings to tell if your watching "This Old House" or "The Frugal Gormet."
Basement rec room and swimming pool: now the same thing
The hospital staff calls you "Mr. Allen."
You fixed the furnace by moving to Arizona.
(Happy in Pheonix.)
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Last modified: Nov 15, 2004