direct from . . .
Top Ten Things Revealed in the Next Harry Potter Book
(submitted by quistis)
We find out that Harry is not a wizard, but that he is in fact a depressed, Ritalin-addicted boy in a mental institution who only THINKS there are such things as hippogriffs.
Whomping willow started off as an enchanted switch used to automatically blister Harry's dad's behind for youthful hi-jinks.
Harry steps out of the shower and reveals that books 3 through 5 were all a dream.
The main hall is actually a fire hazard and the Ministry of Unsafe Dining Halls is going to close it down
Nimbus XP - Easier Use, Fewer Crashes
Fulfilling everyone's suspcions about the book series' geeky followers, Voldemort is revealed to be an anagram for Dolt-mover.
Japanese wizards have developed platform 9 3/4 maglev technology.
Contrary to Ms. Rowling's assertions, the dead, in fact, do come back to life- in a show-stopping musical number.
That lightning bolt on his forehead? Childhood twister injury.
Voldemort is really Elvis Presley, and he's STILL NOT DEAD.
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Last modified: Feb 10, 2005