direct from . . .

Christian's and Scott's Interactive Top Ten List

Top Ten Things Revealed in the Next Harry Potter Book

(submitted by quistis)

10. We find out that Harry is not a wizard, but that he is in fact a depressed, Ritalin-addicted boy in a mental institution who only THINKS there are such things as hippogriffs. (Shamrox)
9. Whomping willow started off as an enchanted switch used to automatically blister Harry's dad's behind for youthful hi-jinks. (VISGOTH)
8. Harry steps out of the shower and reveals that books 3 through 5 were all a dream. (Geoduck)
7. The main hall is actually a fire hazard and the Ministry of Unsafe Dining Halls is going to close it down (English Pete)
6. Nimbus XP - Easier Use, Fewer Crashes (Topher)
5. Fulfilling everyone's suspcions about the book series' geeky followers, Voldemort is revealed to be an anagram for Dolt-mover. (Bob Clemmons)
4. Japanese wizards have developed platform 9 3/4 maglev technology. (VISGOTH)
3. Contrary to Ms. Rowling's assertions, the dead, in fact, do come back to life- in a show-stopping musical number. (The Baker)
2. That lightning bolt on his forehead? Childhood twister injury. (JrsyRose)
1. Voldemort is really Elvis Presley, and he's STILL NOT DEAD.

Copyright © 1995-2015, Scott Atwood and Christian Shelton

Scott Atwood and Christian Shelton (hereafter the authors) retain full copyright of all material on this and all other pages of "Christian's & Scott's Interactive Top Ten List." The authors grant to all other parties the sole right to create a link to this page. However, the authors reserve all other rights. No material from these pages may be copied without the express consent of one of the authors.

sra & crs Last modified: Feb 10, 2005