direct from . . .

Christian's and Scott's Interactive Top Ten List

Top Ten Ways Cheese Can Save Your Life

(submitted by Maniacal Pigfish)

10. A man pulls a gun on you and says, "Give me cheese or perform a triple intergal!" You suck at math, but wait, you have cheese... (Drunken Vet Student)
9. "Just last week if I hadn't had a block of swiss the Green Alien Rats from Mars would have ate my brain." (Spoticus)
8. Cheese is molecularly similar to duct tape and WD-40. It may be substituted for either by changing the thermal compnnent. (JLM2sticky-lube)
7. Keep a slice of Limburger in your wallet. Attempts at mugging will be short-lived. (notMe)
6. Once it blocks your arteries, your nicotine cravings will be reducing to nil, greatly increasing the likelihood that you'll stop smoking. (Major Tom)
5. Advanced Bullet Proofing Material: The Swiss have been testing theirs for years. (Menasaur)
4. That guy in the black trenchcoat that keeps following you around in his white delivery van happens to be lactose intolerant. (i didn't do it, spoticus(did I really put my name to this))
3. If you actually have some in your cheese shop, John Cleese won't shoot you! (squeezette)
2. It can distract the Rodents Of Unusual Size from your trail, enabling your escape from the deadly Fire Swamp. (Senor Montoya)
1. 6-for-a-dollar mac-n-cheese: the only way to feed a starving college student (Strat)

Copyright © 1995-2015, Scott Atwood and Christian Shelton

Scott Atwood and Christian Shelton (hereafter the authors) retain full copyright of all material on this and all other pages of "Christian's & Scott's Interactive Top Ten List." The authors grant to all other parties the sole right to create a link to this page. However, the authors reserve all other rights. No material from these pages may be copied without the express consent of one of the authors.


sra & crs Last modified: Apr 18, 2005