direct from . . .
Top Ten Ways Cheese Can Save Your Life
(submitted by Maniacal Pigfish)
A man pulls a gun on you and says, "Give me cheese or perform a triple intergal!" You suck at math, but wait, you have cheese...
(Drunken Vet Student)
"Just last week if I hadn't had a block of swiss the Green Alien Rats from Mars would have ate my brain."
Cheese is molecularly similar to duct tape and WD-40. It may be substituted for either by changing the thermal compnnent.
Keep a slice of Limburger in your wallet. Attempts at mugging will be short-lived.
Once it blocks your arteries, your nicotine cravings will be reducing to nil, greatly increasing the likelihood that you'll stop smoking.
Advanced Bullet Proofing Material: The Swiss have been testing theirs for years.
That guy in the black trenchcoat that keeps following you around in his white delivery van happens to be lactose intolerant.
(i didn't do it, spoticus(did I really put my name to this))
If you actually have some in your cheese shop, John Cleese won't shoot you!
It can distract the Rodents Of Unusual Size from your trail, enabling your escape from the deadly Fire Swamp.
6-for-a-dollar mac-n-cheese: the only way to feed a starving college student
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Last modified: Apr 18, 2005