direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs You Won't Get Into College
(submitted by Father Time)
You filled in your application with a neon green crayon.
(The Great Janitor)
College? Didn't I make one of those in art class in 4th grade?
Your major in high school was surfboard construction, with a minor in pot cultivation.
(No Dear I didn't)
They returned your application letter because it was written on meat.
Your guidance councilors suggested you look into alternative jobs, such as life guard and pack mule.
You listed your appearances on "Cops" as extracurricular activities.
You were voted most likely to work at Denny's.
(I was too)
Even the kid who made smilies out of the dots on his SATs scored higher than you.
(Murph the Smurf)
The San Quentin library cart is not an acredited institution.
You can't hacky sack, don't throw frisbees, suck at ping pong, don't have a bike, and hate the environment.
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Last modified: Oct 27, 2005