direct from . . .
Top Ten Reasons to Go Hunting With Dick Cheney
(submitted by Major Tom)
Birdshot in your heart will complete your dream of bringing every airport security system you travel through to a grinding halt.
If you don't go with him, the quails win!
You want to exfoliate your face, but your skin is really rough, and the loofah just isn't getting it done.
You're not getting your daily recommended amount of iron.
To relive high school through the joy of a red, pussy, pock-marked face
You have really great insurance, but you never get to use it.
You have a crush on your plastic surgeon.
To become a historical footnote
You're not pretentious enough to hold out in the hopes of being shot by the president himself.
After he shoots you, the press will have no trouble digging up those medical files your doctor hasn't been able to find since 1998.
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Last modified: Feb 27, 2006