direct from . . .
Top Ten Things Mastercard Cannot Buy
(submitted by Ali. M.)
A dryer that doesn't lose your socks
The winning powerball ticket
(scarecrow not from Nebraska)
The Emperor's Super Star Destroyer
(Naska the Zoki-Howler)
An easy way out of credit card debt
The psychiatric bills you will have to pay because of the trauma of having to cut all your credit cards up
The dignity that you lost in second grade when Tommy Richards pulled down your pants in front of that crowd of girls
"Well, Officer, do you think my Mastercard might change your mind about that ticket?"
The respect of your preteen children
(but it mskes them shut the hell up so what'ev)
The intelligence to use it wisely
An escape from all the "Priceless" jokes
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Last modified: Mar 6, 2006