He accepts most major insurance plans, or gummi bears -- either way.
(Major Tom)
Instead of a pad & paper, takes notes on an Etch-A-Sketch.
(Alfredo Garcia)
No couch. Just a bed, some candles, and a technique he calls "Love Therapy".
(mth)
When handing you a prescription, he directs you "down the fire escape and behind the dumpster" to a pharmacist named "Goodtime Larry"
(Major Tom)
His diplomas on the wall are all from "prestigious, non-accredited universities".
(jep)
He starts every explanation with, "Sigmund Frodo once said ..."
(Hobbitz Ruhl)
When you tell him how miserable your parents have made you, for an extra fee he offers to have them rubbed out.
(whyBother)
The framed "Certified Internet Priest" certificate next to the framed "Certified Internet Psychiatrist" certificate.
(Topher)
His favored prescription: nitrous oxide.
(Alfredo Garcia)
After two minutes, he diagnoses your problem as being "f-ing crazy".
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