direct from . . .
Top Ten Commandments That Didn't Make The Cut
(submitted by Topher)
You shall not use outdated English like "thou shalt" to make My commandments seem more impressive.
Thou shalt watch Football on the Sabbath and dress in the colors of one's team.
Thou shalt not eat thy dessert until thy vegetables are eaten.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's power tools.
Thou shalt pay tithes in small, unmarked bills.
Thou shalt use thy turn signal.
Thou shalt not telephone solicit during dinnertime.
Thou shalt keep voicemails brief and not mumble any pertinent phone numbers.
Let it be he who calls shotgun forthright, be he who sitteth thusly.
If thou findest a contact lens anywere near Mount Ararat, thou shalt return it to Me. It's rather large....If thou ruinest the lens, thou shalt surely die.
(Good Ol' Horseface)
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Last modified: May 11, 2006