After a night of drinking you find yourself in the pound.
(Balistic)
The amount of money you spend on and shampoo and gas are the same.
(Andrew)
You walked in the front door and all the drains in your building clogged instantly.
(Buttsey57)
The "little polo man" on your "brown shirt" is really just an intricate knot.
(Buttsey57)
You cannot afford the person carrying it behind you anymore.
(No it cant be after all)
You get a seeing eye dog because your hair is in your eyes.
(Jellybean)
Your most recent trip to the zoo was plagued by frequent tranquilizer darts and appologies.
(Marbelesque)
"Ow! Uh, could somebody help me? I... ow... I was tying my shoes and I... ow... I kind of accidentally tied my head to my feet... Anybody? Please?"
(The Cruciverbalist)
Every time you pee, you have to wash your hair afterwards.
(Master and Cummander)
You don't wash your hair anymore because the last time you did you got so tangled up it took 3 firemen and the jaws of life to free you.
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