direct from . . .
Top Ten Ways to Combat the Flu
(submitted by ackthwap)
Don't Fight It! You needed to catch up on all those programs you have jamming up your Tivo.
A pair of nunchucks, a blow torch, a butter knife, 3 of your baby teeth, 24 unicorns and one sea captain
(YOU'RE CURED!! ...Sputnik CNZ )
Duct tape always works to gum up them viral infections.
Bubonic Plague, all illnesses bow down to their superiors.
A large plastic bubble and plenty of Hepa-filters
Pretend that weird, hot feeling you have must be what it feels like to be in love.
Fact: Chicken soup helps combat the flu. Conclusion: Splice your DNA with that of a chicken.
When anyone walks in with the flu, tell them to "Hold still." Then, start whapping them with a newspaper until either the flu is gone or they're gone.
Shot of orange juice, glass of vodka, shot of orange juice, glass of scotch, shot of organge juice, glass of beer. Repeat until flu symptoms are no longer noticeable.
(Oops I did it again.)
(szolnoki, Arcola Mike)
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Last modified: Apr 5, 2007