direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs Your Roommate Needs To Go
(submitted by a little glowing friend)
He wakes you up shuffling through a half foot of empty beer cans on his bedroom floor.
He uses your butter as hair jel.
He avoids taking phone messages by telling your friends you died.
It's not so much the "sleepwalking" that bothers me; it's the "sleep repeatedly punching me in the face while I sleep" that is really getting to be a problem.
Monday: Sacrificng pigs, Tuesday: 5000 candles in an odd design Wednesday: Preparations for the feast of the non-believers (whatever that is)
The eels frying in week-old cooking oil on the stove...which is on fire.
(Not making this up!)
Last week he brought home a stray Roller Derby team.
He wets his bed, from across the room.
(Good Ol' Horseface)
He eats your netflix.
There's now a velvet rope and a bouncer standing guard at your couch.
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Last modified: Jan 11, 2007