Your friends object to the way you dunk pork rinds.
(Arcola Mike)
You've found that the little fork on the left makes an excellent olive-lobber.
(No Dear I didn't)
Even though you can't quite hit the high notes, you still insist on burping The Star Spangled Banner.
(Major Tom)
To enjoy your food longer, you've had a purse compartment specially modified by Ziploc for leftovers.
(Pertinax)
Your dog refuses to be seen outside with you.
(ESPN)
When Lord Throttlemore indignantly barks "How dare you fart before my wife!", you reply "Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn."
(whyBother)
The only time you've ever said "thank you" was a day you had a cold. You were really trying to say something very, very different.
(anglesius)
When you pull out a chair for a lady, you proceed to hit her with it Jerry Springer Style.
(SheShe McGee)
You always use the wrong fork to pick your teeth.
(Major Tom)
With the soup so deliciously warm and your toes so frighteningly cold, you thought it was a good idea.
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