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Top Ten Ways to Save Money this Christmas
(submitted by Helix)
Replace the Christmas Tree with a Christmas Dandelion.
Give everyone CRT televisions. Insist they're "antiques."
Give keys to abandoned houses in your neighborhood.
With all these companies going bankrupt, there's bound to be some great deals on office supplies!
(BK(a new stapler *and* desk chair? How did you know??)red)
All of your gifts come "pre-wrapped" in small plastic balls that open up to reveal their prize--tattoos, fine jewelry, gumballs, super balls, etc.
Get Christmas Lists from friends and relatives. Put them all on your wish list. Then when you get the stuff, give it to the friends and relatives.
Tell everyone you "did all your shopping in Beijing, during the Olympics." Then go hit the dollar stores, and Sprawl-Mart for gifts. "Made in China" never lies.
Get your own UPS truck and uniform. Park near the mall entrance and people will hand you all the stuff you need.
Turn off your furnace. That way all the children want for Christmas is coal.
Coal costs money. Use up the pets. The dead cost nothing.
(Good Ol' Horseface)
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Last modified: Dec 8, 2008