Instead of rollover minutes you get rollover pumpkins.
(Felly Smeet)
When you ask about a text messaging plan they tell you if you want to write something just use the US Postal Service.
(Sarah C.)
Their "premium bundle" includes a cassette phone answering machine, and a CB radio.
(Plutoid)
Their network consists of a guy with a bullhorn following you around.
(Guyinthenextcubicleover)
They think Bluetooth is what you get after chewing grape bubblegum.
(Magus Noan)
Your front porch is "out of area".
(Chuck1863)
Your cell has a rotary dial.
(Magus Noan)
You recently found out that your current provider just signed a wiretapping deal with the CIA, the NSA, Major League Baseball, and Santa Claus.
(Krig the Viking)
You just assumed that "wireless" also meant "pigeonless"...
(Stephen H)
They charge you a $5 "finder's fee" whenever you lose their signal.
(Major Tom)Scott Atwood and Christian Shelton (hereafter the authors) retain full copyright of all material on this and all other pages of "Christian's & Scott's Interactive Top Ten List." The authors grant to all other parties the sole right to create a link to this page. However, the authors reserve all other rights. No material from these pages may be copied without the express consent of one of the authors.