Too many things are already hidden under your mattress.
(Wiki)
Dollar Bills are worth less than straw.
(Norm Shelton)
You robbed the bank not too long ago and are afraid they might recognize you.
(SillyPie)
You don't even have to wake up to roll over your funds.
(Major Tom)
Regardless the depth of the depression, your mattress bounces back on its own.
(Major Tom)
Criminals never lift them to look under for fear of prosecution and jail time from accidently removing mattress tag.
(Kakazed&sumy-married in 22 days)
Free toaster with every new interest bearing Serta account opened
(outbackjoey)
Considering the economy, you can honestly claim to be "sleeping with the enemy."
(toyz)
It's cheaper than buying that sleep number bed you promised your wife for Christmas, and all you have to do to adjust firmness is make a deposit or withdrawl.
(tonito)
Last time I checked, a mattress won't steal your money and doesn't require a bailout.
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