"No, that's not a wig, I'm wearing. It's my toupee!"
(Oh Deer)
When you'd rather stay home because you have work in the morning.
(Tweety)
You go all over town with out finding a single outhouse to knock over.
(sbrogdon)
Instead of dispensing candy to trick-or-treaters, you give free financial planning advice.
(Sheriff)
You ask for the box of raisins.
(Lindy)
"Don't waste that toilet paper, I might need it."
(junkshop_coyote)
People used to call your pot leaf shirt costume "funny hippie", now they guess "pot bellied pig."
(Miss Moah)
You thought Henry Kissinger would be scary. You still do. Screw all those trick-or-treaters.
(Good Ol' Horseface)
At age 5 your witch costume was cute, at 25 it was hot and sexy, at 45 it was unimaginative, and at 65 you stopped wearing a costume but they still call you the witch of the neighborhood.
(Raven)
You check the fiber content of each treat.
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