direct from . . .
Top Ten Rejected New Airport Screening Procedures
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
The TSA lap dance
Discounts for flights to nudist colonies.
The "I'll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours" ploy.
Wet t-shirt contest is too "collegiate" for most travelers.
Jumping Sidekick to the Groin
A two minute sit-down in the new Sharper Image Groping Chair.
The TSA instant hires anybody with the words: mammography, proctology, or craigslist encounter on their resume.
Dunk the person in the river for ten minutes. If he drowns, he's innocent. If he survives, he's a terrorist.
Controlled detonation of any suspicious looking passengers.
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Last modified: Dec 2, 2010