direct from . . .
Top Ten Rejected 4th of July Safety Tips
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
To avoid burning your hands, let your children light the fireworks.
If you run out of matches a welding torch will do in a pinch.
Always point fireworks away from yourself when launching from your hand.
Handling fire is dangerous so always ignite your fireworks with a smaller secondary explosion.
Remember: hot dogs and fireworks are easily distinguishable once put on the grill.
Guys dressed like Uncle Sam are probably up to no good.
Please put out the sparkler and continue reading these safety tips with a flashlight.
Please roll down your automobile window prior to igniting.
Secure rockets tightly when attaching to skate-boards.
Take down your Christmas tree, already.
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Last modified: Jul 4, 2011