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Christian's and Scott's Interactive Top Ten List

Top Ten Signs You're a Bad Mall Santa

(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)

10. You are surprised that babies cry when you blow cigar smoke rings at their faces. (RAM)
9. Your santa suit has torn off sleeves to show off your tatoos. (El Barton)
8. You tell the kids that the powder under your nose is candy cane dust. (JimsGP)
7. Your gaunt, 7-foot-tall frame is actually less unsettling than your hollow, booming voice. (Krig the Viking)
6. You insist on doing your ventriloquist routine with all the babies. (Major Tom)
5. With 82 shoplifting convictions, there are only so many malls you are still allowed into. (sageandscholar)
4. "Yes it's real young man! I shot, and stuffed the reindeer myself." (Go KWU)
3. The kids keep staring at your facial tattoo. (Wools)
2. Your loathing of children only starts to fade after your fifth shot of tequila. (Krig the Viking)
1. This is your community service for pepper spraying someone at Walmart on Black Friday. (The Frunkus Kid)

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sra & crs Last modified: Dec 8, 2011