You are surprised that babies cry when you blow cigar smoke rings at their faces.
(RAM)
Your santa suit has torn off sleeves to show off your tatoos.
(El Barton)
You tell the kids that the powder under your nose is candy cane dust.
(JimsGP)
Your gaunt, 7-foot-tall frame is actually less unsettling than your hollow, booming voice.
(Krig the Viking)
You insist on doing your ventriloquist routine with all the babies.
(Major Tom)
With 82 shoplifting convictions, there are only so many malls you are still allowed into.
(sageandscholar)
"Yes it's real young man! I shot, and stuffed the reindeer myself."
(Go KWU)
The kids keep staring at your facial tattoo.
(Wools)
Your loathing of children only starts to fade after your fifth shot of tequila.
(Krig the Viking)
This is your community service for pepper spraying someone at Walmart on Black Friday.
(The Frunkus Kid)Scott Atwood and Christian Shelton (hereafter the authors) retain full copyright of all material on this and all other pages of "Christian's & Scott's Interactive Top Ten List." The authors grant to all other parties the sole right to create a link to this page. However, the authors reserve all other rights. No material from these pages may be copied without the express consent of one of the authors.