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Top Ten Other Changes The Postal Service is Making
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
They are opening the bidding at 200 million between the Elvis and Michael Jackson estates for the REAL KING stamp.
Mail trucks will also sell ice cream.
Budget assigned to rebrand the term "Going Postal", and cut the NRA sponsorship deal.
Every third piece of mail will be randomly recycled instead of delivered.
New guarantee: If your mail doesn't arrive within 30 days, you get your stamp back.
They will require employees going postal to use Nerf dart guns to save money on ammo.
Mail will be delivered by Jehovahs witnesses; they're gonna stop at every house anyway.
Turning a bug into a feature: The new "shred class" service will destroy your unwanted paperwork
Openning letters and transcribing them into e-mail: all for a nominal fee of course
Stamps' glue will now contain a highly addictive narcotic.
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Last modified: Dec 22, 2011