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Top Ten Rejected Outgoing Messages for Darth Vader's Answering Machine
(submitted by yoda)
This is the home of Darth Vader. To leave good news, press 1. To question my actions, press your luck.
I'm sorry, I can't take your call; I'm out shopping at Darth Mall.
Thank you for calling Darth Vader. I'm sitting in my giant egg waiting for my helmet to be placed on my head by a robot, so please leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Okay, uh, hi, this is Darth Vader, so--w--it just, it just says 'buffering.' What does that...? No, that's what I did! *breath* crap...*breath* Force is strong with this one...BEEEP
(Good Ol' Horseface)
"...and if this is the police -- I am NOT that kind of heavy breather..."
You have reached 1-800-Dark-One. if you are calling about the Craig's list post about a Death Star, it has already sold, Thank you. All other calls please leave a message.
This is Anakin Skywalker. If you're a Jedi Knight who survived order 66, please let a detailed message as to your whereabouts, and I will provide assistance.
You have reached the Vader residence if you are calling to join the Darkside please press 1 all other calls please leave a message.
Hi. This is Darth. Don't use the excuse "I don't like talking to machines." I am more machine than my answering machine.
Please hang up now. If you really needed anything important I would have sensed it in the force. Good bye.
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Last modified: May 22, 2012