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Top Ten Memorial Day Weekend Safety Tips
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
Don't let your pyromaniac little brother switch out that "sissy lighter fluid" with something more powerful.
For every porn movie involving hitchhikers, there are 8 horror movies that do to.
Before preforming the season's first macho, mondo, bellybuster off the high dive first check to make sure that there is actual water in the pool.
Even if Main Street is strangely devoid of traffic you still shouldn't nap on the double-yellow.
When hanging around the muscle beach portion of the waterfront you might want to keep your "non elvolved" thoughts regarding gay marriage to yourself.
No matter how good it looks, gas station roller grill food shouldn't be eaten after 9pm.
If you are visiting the cemetery on Monday, don't do anything that would cause you to stay there.
Make sure you have plenty of "Portable Fire Extinguishers" in the handy 12 oz size available for the grill fires.
Only the A-Team can survive every car wreck.
(Good Ol' Horseface)
Don't get near an ocean, lake or stram, stay out of the sun, don't go to the mountains. As a matter of fact, stay home....in the basement, under an umbrella, in a suit of armor.
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Last modified: May 29, 2012