direct from . . .
Top Ten Rejected Survival Tips For Dealing With Your In-Laws At Thanksgiving
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
Arrange hunting party with Dick Cheney.
Get the ball rolling early. Invite them to a free taping of "Jerry Springer".
(Micklin T. Rahe, Who Agreed When He Said "May You Never Be On My Show")
Spike the hors de vours with sleeping pills.
Flirt with your mother-in-law. Just to break the ice.
The "take a drink when the mother-in-law cackles" game from last year left you with alcohol poisoning.
Start drinking at Halloween; you should be thoroughly anesthecized by Thanksgiving.
Put a "For Sale" sign in the front yard, close the curtains, and be very quiet, maybe they will leave.
Build incense sticks made out of marijuana and burn them the entire time they're there.
Never, never, never ask "How would James Bond handle this?"
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Last modified: Nov 22, 2012