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Top Ten Ways to Prepare for Spring
Post yet another Facebook status that nobody cares about or wants to read.
Shoot guns at the clouds to try to make rain to fall.
Dig through the snow piles and look for the lawn mower.
Reinforce The Maginot Line.
Start pricing a goat so you don't have to pay the neighbor boy a $100 a week to keep your grass at knee level.
Annual home inspection to beef up any troublesome supports on the igloo
Shovel all the snow out of your pool.
Gather as much snow as you can and stick it in the freezer so you don't have to buy ice for the Memorial Day barbecue.
Pray uselessly for The Cubs, like your father and his father before him.
Memorize medical causes of weight gain so you can make up impressive excuses.
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Last modified: Mar 8, 2013