The military commander's boxer shorts with rockets and howitzers on them that George W. stole
(whyBother)
President Obama agrees to purchase 1.8 million surplus "Misha" the Russian Teddy Bears left over from the 1980 Moscow Olympics.
(MLehde)
1.7 Trillion pounds of ice for that Chernoble thingy
(wheels)
The U.S. will finally reveal the location of "Moose and Squirrel."
(BABaker)
The US has to return the submarine "Red October" and name an aircraft carrier after him.
(BABaker)
All media reports of the ongoing peace process must make mention of his "rippling pecks" and "rock hard abs."
(MLehde)
Rings from every other Super Bowl winner to match the one he was given by the 2005 Patriots.
(SnoopRob)
A permanent global end to the "In Soviet Russia" jokes. Because in Soviet Russia, jokes are about YOU!
(Good Ol' Horseface, MLehde)
English speaking Internet users must stop making puns about his last name. He's not Putin up with it anymore.
(Ilsoap)
Syria
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