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Top Ten OJ Simpson Excuses For Stealing Cookies In Prison
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
His lawyer said is was legal.
He was practicing his "interception" skills.
He didn't steal no cookies The arthritis in his hands won't let him even hold one.
These were his Heisman trophy cookies and he's the rightful owner.
It was a rare lapse in judgment.
He figured he is still so fast nobody could catch him. He forgot about the whole prison walls thing.
He was put up to it by his cellmate the cookie monster.
(The Frunkus Kid)
When told the cookies were "killer chocolate chip" he thought they were a clue in finding "the real killers."
If the oven mitt doesn't fit, you must acquit.
He didn't actually steal them, but he's going to find the real thief, and write a book on how he would steal them.
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Last modified: Oct 7, 2013