direct from . . .
Top Ten Rejected Winter Storm Survival Tips
(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)
Carry at least a cord of firewood with you at all times, along with plenty of matches and paper to start the fire with.
Wait it out in the refrigerator.
Do not try to stay warm. That is impossible. Instead, realize the truth. There is no warmth. Then you'll see that it is not the storm that is cold, it is only yourself.
(Not the One.)
Consult your handy Dylatov Pass winter survival guide for advice.
Trapped in your car on a deserted road, drink Jim Beam until the tingling sensation in your toes and fingers goes away.
Rub two of your fellow campers together in order to create warmth.
Dress like Elsa. Works for her.
(Good Ol' Horseface)
Keep making snow angels in the yard until real angels come to help.
When traveling with family carry a list of "Tastiest to Least Tasty Relatives."
"....then light the winter survival guide on fire."
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Last modified: Dec 8, 2014