direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs Spring Training Has Started
George Steinbrenner has already fired two managers.
(Bob Clemmons, Casey Stengel)
Tommy Lasorda back schlepping Slim Fast(tm).
(Bob Clemmons, Richard Simmons, stanley)
Tailgators already practicing getting drunk in parking lot .
Announcers are again sucking up to Ted Turner.
Strike negotiators begin to advertise on television.
Mets players roadtrip to states where fireworks are legal.
The average age of Floridian's drops below 70.
Daryl Strawberry is back at the Betty Ford Clinic.
Skoal Stock takes a leap on the NYSE.
(Maurice, Master O Sir, Capitol Hill)
The Cubs have been mathematically eliminated from the pennant race.
(Charlie Troxel, kyl, Unlucky69r@aol.com)
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Last modified: April 14, 1996