direct from . . .
Top Ten New Year's Resolutions That Won't Hold in 1996
(submitted by Ronald Giersig)
"I'm going to lose weight"
"I will be nice to my mother-in-law"
"I won't say anything dumb again"
(Joey & Phebes [Friends])
"I will clean up my hard drive"
"I will become the world's first porche owning banjo player"
"I will stop being offended by day time talk shows"
"I resolve to vote for a presidential candidate that's honest, trustworthy, and qualified"
"I will finally start up that alternative bagpipe/cello/kazoo band with my mom and dad"
"This semester's grades will be better than the lasts!!"
"I will NOT surf the during working hours"
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Last modified: January 27, 1996