direct from . . .
Top Ten Reasons You Won't Be President
(submitted by ward@cfht.hawaii.edu)
Because you are already King of the Universe, and Pontiff to the Protezoa
(Bob Clemmons)
$6,000 in unpaid parking tickets
(flash)
Your main campaign promise is to nuke every major US city
(Goon)
Your psychiatrist suggests you fantasize about being an astronaut instead.
(G. Peefalt)
"What...and ruin my reputation?"
(admin)
Dana Carvy doesn't know how to imitate you
(Jim Merullo)
Your campaign office is cot number 4 in the psychiatric ward.
(G. Peefalt)
Transgendered, body-pierced leather and latex look clashes with spouse's power ties and suits
(Jim Barfield)
Those damn secret service agents freak you out!
(Questor)
You inhaled. A lot.
(Fluff)
Copyright © 1995-2015, Scott Atwood and Christian Shelton
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sra
& crs
Last modified: Jul 29, 1996