direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs Your Child Goes To a Bad School
(submitted by firstname.lastname@example.org)
There was a steroid scandal last year. On the Chess Club.
Teacher "diplomas" look suspiciously like parole papers.
Monday: The custodian announces the rat problem in the basement is over. Tuesday: the cafeteria announces mystery meat is the entree for the rest of the week.
The school's motto contains the word 'crap'.
Only one graduate has ever attended college, on a bowling scholarship.
His Home Economics course involves sewing designer clothes for two cents an hour.
'Number of Days Since Last Shooting' sign out front never gets past '4'.
To avoid theft, teachers are chained to the desks.
School uniforms consist of bedsheets, sandals and a giant sombrero.
At the dinner table, he refers to his shop teacher as "Mr. No Hands"
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Last modified: May 4, 1997