direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs You're Visiting a Tourist Trap
Guide Keeps warning that the company isn't responsible for killed or stolen loved ones.
You discover you are physically incapable of walking 20 feet without needing food, drink, and/or a bathroom.
When there's a souviner stand IN your hotel room.
"Maps to celebrities homes" are really just maps of Nicaragua
Someone has told you, "this is where the locals eat"
(NOT OPIE'S MOM)
Every one is wearing a yellow shirt that says, "Land of Ten Thousand Pine Cones"
Speeding tickets $90 or three for $250
Seashells for sale.
A cheeseburger costs more than your first car.
Cellulite knees and shrill kiddies' voices; bright floral outfits and awful food choices; traffic that snarls and junk souvenirs: these are a few of my very worst fears.
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Last modified: Jul 6, 1997