direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs You Watch Too Many Soap Operas
(submitted by Caroline (aka Nicole Byler))
You talk about people who "came into your life."
You got a divorce because your wife's Neilson's were low.
You cannot start your day without first reciting the opening monologue to "Days of our Lives."
When you buy coffee, you take a dramatic pause while the store speakers blare a dimished chord and wonder if Luke will still love you with the added caffeine.
(jrb, Tagdot, S=h=a=r=p=i=e)
The first ten minutes of each Monday, you have to relive the highlights of last Friday.
(The A Man)
You have 3 VCRS recording ABC, NBC, and CBS from 10 am to 3 pm every weekday.
You won't speak to someone unless their back is turned.
The only ways you can think of to break up with your boyfriend are to either fake your own death or tell him you're pregnant with another man's baby.
You visit sick wards and IC units and go from one person to the next, shouting "Don't you DARE give up! You've never quit anything in your whole life! Don't leave me, damn you!"
You truly fear being kidnapped by your mother's ex-boyfriend (your best friends' son), given amnesia-causing herbal potions and intentionally stranded on a remote desert island where handsome men in wetsuits regularly wash up, having misread their oxygen supply, but happen to have a cellular phone, thus enabling your rescue and allowing you to go back home and confront your mother, who believes your story, but is unwilling to act because now she is dating her ex-boyfriends lesbian aunt, and all this happened to Alexi on your favorite soap and it was SO REAL!.
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Last modified: Mar 22, 1998