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Top Ten Signs You Need Sleep
You wonder why so many women are yelling as you use the men's bathroom.
You've bought $900 worth of haircare products from latenight info-mercials to give away as Christmas gifts.
While doing last-minute studying for finals, you have read the same sentence repeatedly for the past 90 minutes, know it, and are convinced you can finish at least the paragraph.
Serta, Sealy, and seven other mattress manufacturers file a class action suit against you for refusing to use their products.
On your way to work, you get into the wrong side of the car and get angry when you can't find the steering wheel.
You can't figure out why you can't open the TV door to nuke your popcorn.
You look enviously at your roommate's Z.Z. Top album and wish the Z's were yours.
You look forward to red lights at intersections just to close your eyes.
(The A Man)
When you walk into a doorframe, you smile, apologize to the frame, and walk away, embarrassed.
You begin using Top Ten List subjects that you could've sworn you already used.
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Last modified: Apr 23, 1998