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Top Ten Signs That You Watch Too Much TV
(submitted by Mabonus@aol.com)
You don't have a clue where your children are, but you sure know where to find Oprah....4:00 every afternoon on Channel 12
You only use Depends because you've never seen a commercial for a toilet.
You can only communicate by using commercial slogans and theme show lyrics.
Your TV is mounted on the floor under the bed with a face-sized hole cut in your mattress.
You traded your Viagra pills for a free Premium Channel
You've learned how to change the channel just by squinting at the cable box a certain way.
Separation anxiety when over six feet away from your TV set.
You're trying very hard to get your dog to say "Yo quiero Taco Bell!"
You broke the off button because the idea of the TV being off frightens you.
You have the attention span of a ferret on espresso
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Last modified: May 31, 1998