You start buying price tags from other garage sales, so you can hold your own.
(nobody)
You have two dozen copies of the same Joan Biaz record.
(DA maNA)
You are known as the Garden Gnome Granny.
(mjolnir)
NFL teams hire you as a consultant to train their players the best blocking and end-around moves.
(Krass Krangle)
Goodwill Industries and the Salvation Army have brought an anti-trust suit against you for monopolizing their turf.
(Yickhoff Smartnoff)
People refer to your home as Tacky Lamp Land.
(Laffman)
Your skill and savy at getting the "goodies" first has made you a target with the other shoppers. Often your car is blocked, air let out of your tires; you're elbowed and tripped at every chance.
(cjohnc)
You met at a sale, you were married in a strangers garage in a gown you bought for 5 bucks, and instead of I DO, you said, SOLD!
(cjohnc)
When there are no savoury ones listed in the paper, you settle for the flea markets, but dangit, they always leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled.
(Ole Smoothie)
You love the smell of masking tape and felt marking pens in the morning.
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