direct from . . .
Top Ten Signs Your Garage Band Isn't Going to Make It
(submitted by JEB)
There just doesn't seem to be much interest in heavy-metal re-makes of old Carpenter's tunes.
You can't play outdoor concerts because the noise attracts animals in heat.
Your father says to your mother, "See honey, they really do sound like Jon Denver!"
You've got a great name and everyone gets along well, but you still haven't figured out who can play an instrument or sing.
All of your songs are related to things in the garage. Ex: "Turtle Wax Love", "Lawn Mower Hop", etc.
Neighbors insist you practice with the garage door shut... and the car running.
Your lead guitarist has announced that he's joining the priesthood, but he still plans on staying with the band.
The only instruments you have are a Playschool xylophone and your old Texas Instruments "Speak 'n' Music."
The only reason you haven't ditched the lead singer is because he's the only one who can successfully sneak a beer out of the parents' refrigerator.
(mIdGeT iN dA hOuSe!)
A record number of 8-11 year old girls falls in love with you and your 2 brothers after producing a song called Mmmm-bop.
Christian and Scott thank Chris Mulder from Agoura, CA; the graphics on this
page are his creations.
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Last modified: Sep 7, 1998