direct from . . .
Top Ten Ways Minnesota Will Change Under the New Governor Jesse "The Body" Ventura
(submitted by Body Ventura)
Folding chairs are banned from government meetings.
(Andy "The Pretty Boy" Stover)
Speeches will now be limited to monosyllables, and shouted into a microphone with menacing gestures.
Before any floor debate, opponents will meet on TV to sling insults at one another... oh I guess that's not a difference
(Elbert O. Fiovive)
Chants of "Our Governor can whip your governor" from cocky Minnesotans
State motto changed to "I ain't got time to bleed."
Legislative sessions will begin with "Let's get ready to ramble!"
When he addresses the public he enters to loud guitar music and fireworks.
(Andy "The Pretty Boy" Stover, Agent 43)
In an effort to get his arch-nemesis back in the ring with him, "The Body" will name Hulk Hogan the state flower.
Locals will wrestle pigs in the snow... oh wait, that's already happening in Minnesota.
Well now that hell has frozen over, it's going to get really cold up there.
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Last modified: Nov 16, 1998