direct from . . .
Top Ten Ways to Make the World a Safer Place
Remove all people who are passionate about any cause.
The Intergalactic Planet-Sized Club (in three colors)
Velcro on our feet: just in case gravity gives up on us
Require permits for carrying sharp, pointy things.
Implement roving patrols of trained personnel to remove banana peels from the sidewalks of our major cities.
All international conflicts must be resolved on Jeopardy.
(Gunboat Diplomacy for 200, Alex)
If everyone walked around naked, no one could carry a concealed weapon.
Anti-Anti-Anti-Anti-Anti Balistic Missles. Just in case.
Coat the earth with a 3-inch layer of Nerf.
(Laffman, al, inthedark, Faux Pas)
Most accidents happen in the home, so "From now on, no one can go into homes."
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Last modified: Sep 27, 1999