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Christian's and Scott's Interactive Top Ten List

Top Ten Signs You Weren't Qualified for The Tour de France

(submitted by The Frunkus Kid)

10. You need to pedal more and yodel less through the Alps. (Arcola Mike)
9. Pedaling up any sort of incline turns you all "Star Wars," which is to say you talk like Yoda ("Go on I cannot") and breath like Darth Vader. (MLehde)
8. You brought your #2 pencil and vast knowledge of pharmaceuticals for the Drug Test. Turns out, they want blood and urine samples. (Stephen H)
7. The last time you sat on a bicycle it took a team of Proctologists 12 hours to remove it. (AlHubb)
6. They wouldn't allow your ride in the race... even by calling it Le Big Wheel. (The Incognito Penguin)
5. Even in spandex, XXL is not aerodynamic. (lefty)
4. You packed a picnic lunch in the wire basket on your handlebars. (Arcola Mike)
3. You're still doing 3 years for burglary because you heard everyone in the Tour took stereos to win. (The Incognito Penguin)
2. The stratagy of distracting the French cyclists by yelling "Look out, Panzers!" every half mile turned out to be against the rules. (MLehde)
1. Your exhaustive search to locate lightweight aerodynamic carbon fiber training wheels was fruitless. (Stephen H)

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sra & crs Last modified: Jul 31, 2014